Not Until The Fat Lady Sings
by znk99fg7
Summary: Sam's a 21st century girl with an EXTREME dislike for a certain infamous pirate. So, naturally, she's thrown into the adventure and takes it upon herself to make his life a misery. JackxOC


**Not Until The Fat Lady Sings**

**Chapter 1**

**I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean *sniff* and I realise this sort of idea has been done before so I can't really call that mine either *pout*. Though I intend to put as many twists and turns into this fanfic as I can think of! **

**However I do own any OC's I choose to throw in here and there.**

**I **_**love**_** reviews *hint, hint, nudge, nudge, big neon sign* and since this is my first POTC fic, I really wanna know what you think.**

**Enjoy! :D**

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I glared across at my best friend since kindergarten, Emma Mathews, as I tried my hardest to resist the urge to strangle the brunette. We were both watching the first of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies in the middle of my lounge whilst pigging out on far too much popcorn. Though, I will always believe that you can _never_ eat too much popcorn.

The difference between us two was that while Emma was _completely obsessed_ with the films, I couldn't stand. I hated having to sit through the action packed movies with my best friend sighing and drooling over Will Turner and Jack – correction _Captain_ Jack Sparrow.

I gritted my teeth as an image of the infamous pirate scurried across my mind, only to have a mini sized version of myself squash it with a hammer (repeatedly). If I had to pick one character out of all the movies that pissed me off, it would have to be _Captain_ Jack Bloody Sparrow.

The first time I had seen the Curse of the Black Pearl, I hadn't been too keen on him, but after been _forced_ to watch the films _over_ and _over_ again with Emma, I couldn't even stand the sight of him. I had no idea why I disliked the man so much. There was just something about him that made the _real_ me (not the one in my head) want to smash him over the head with a hammer… Then run him over with a bulldozer… And maybe feed what was left of him after that to sharks... Big, ferocious, _hungry_ sharks…

I grinned as I played the scenario through in my head, but my happy thoughts of murdering the rum-loving pirate were interrupted. Shame, I had just got to the part where a bunch of piranhas appeared out of nowhere and all that was left of the legendary _Captain_ Sparrow (which thankfully wasn't a lot) looked up to see me at the helm of the Pearl with _his_ bottle of rum!

_Er… Sorry, got carried away._

"You know, I think I'd make a good pirate," Emma muttered as the movie was about to end. "I'm not sure about you though."

Charming. I sure know how to pick best mates, don't I?

"Though you can do a great English accent," she quickly added, before turning her attention back to the TV screen.

I raised an eyebrow at what she had just said and rolled my eyes. "Maybe that's 'cause I _am_ English!" I replied, throwing a bit of popcorn at her. She could be _extremely_ dense at times. Well most of the time, but hey; what can you do? (Other than hit _her_ over the head with a hammer!)

_I am sorry, I have no idea why that hammer keeps coming up._

As always, she ignored my comment and continued watching the film. I glanced at the screen in time to see that the credits had started appearing. Emma sighed and noticed that the bowl of popcorn we had been sharing – though _she_ had been the one hogging it – was empty. She stood up, shoving the cushions she had had on her onto the floor and picked up the bowl.

"I'll get some more snacks," she decided as she walked towards the kitchen door. "Put the second one on, 'kay Sam?"

She had said it in a nice way, but I knew that if refused and got on the wrong side of Emma – and believe me, you do _not_ wanna do that – I would be very, very sorry. I half thought about escaping out the window, even though this was _my_ house, but sighed and had to accept my terrible fate; I would have to watch _another_ pirate movie.

I got up from the sofa rather reluctantly and made my way across to the DVD player, which was just under the TV. I knew better then to stand inbetween her and her crazy addiction to the films. Now, I wasn't the type of girl to be pushed around and Emma was one of the shyest people I knew, but when it came to her precious Pirate of the Caribbean movies, she was damn scary!

_And by scary, I mean I would rather be put in a cage with lions that haven't eaten for days then piss her off._

I knelt down besides the DVD player and pushed the eject button. I narrowed my eyes at the disc as it came out of the machine. That flat, shiny object was the source of my misery - well it _and_ Emma. I grabbed it's box from the coffee table which was inbetween the sofa and the TV and opened it.

A small paper fell out.

I picked it up, thinking it was an advert for something or other. I was about to put it back in the box when the writing on it caught my eye. _'…need a change? Had too much of just _watching_ Pirates of the Caribbean?…'_

"You have _no_ idea," I muttered as I put the paper back into the box – which earned me a paper cut. Bloody advert!

I turned my attention back to the disc, only to discover the machine had taken it back. Maybe it would break and save me from watching another pirate movie? If only!

"Sam, where do you keep the gummy bears?" Emma's voice echoed from the kitchen.

"Top shelf by the kettle!" I yelled back, turning my head towards the kitchen door and not watching which button I pressed.

Instead of one of my fingers pressing the eject button, it pressed to one right next to it; Play.

"Ow," I muttered, realising I had used the one which had the paper cut.

It was at that moment that Emma came in, armed with snacks.

"When the menu comes up; hit play. I'll only be a minute," the brunette smiled as she dumped an armful of junk food onto the coffee table, before heading off towards the loo.

"Oh, it's the first one," I called after her.

Emma stopped for a moment, then turned 'round and grinned. "That's alright. We'll watch number 2 afterwards!"

I left out a frustrated groan as another scenario played across my mind…

"_Officer, you have to understand! I _had_ to kill her! She was going to make me watch _another_ pirate movie!" I cried as I sunk to my knees and wrapped by arms 'round some random cop's legs._

"_You poor thing! She was torturing you!"_

_I nodded gravely… (Then took a hammer and smashed every Pirates of the Caribbean movie on Earth)._

_And there goes that hammer again..._

The menu came up a minute later and yet another one of my wish filled dreams was interrupted. I stood up and picked the remote up, before turning back to the TV screen. I frowned as the menu appeared. I had watched this movie over a hundred times – and I _wasn't_ exaggerating – and I was positive that the music playing was different.

I shrugged. Elvis could be singing in the background wearing a coconut bra and a pink neon hula skirt for all I cared, I still hated the film - which brought my mind back to the leaflet.

"You're right," I said to no one in particular. Though since there wasn't anyone in the room with me at the time, it was pretty obvious I was talking to myself. "I've had _way_ too much of watching these movies."

And then, I pressed the play button – with my hurt finger.

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_Did you like it? Now see that little button at the bottom there? There's no point shaking your head! I know you can see it! Now some it some love and review! :D_


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